Waiting

Just to get this completely-unrelated-to-Advent topic out of the way:  what is the deal with mid-season finales?  This was not a thing when I moved to New Zealand.  I feel like the TV networks are trying to sell me something.  (I burst out laughing as soon as I wrote that sentence.  Of course they are trying to sell me something.)  Why a special name for the last episode before the holiday break?  I think it's just an excuse to advertise more when the shows start up again.

Anyway, obviously I am behind the times.

Today, I read this quote by Henri Nouwen:  "A seed only flourishes by staying in the ground in which it is sown. When you keep digging the sand up to check whether it is growing, it will never bear fruit. Think of yourself as a little seed planted in rich soil. All you have to do is stay there and trust that the soil contains everything you need to grow. This growth takes place even when you do not feel it."

Advent is a season of waiting. Have I mentioned this? :) I think that one reason that I am wanting to spend time exploring the significance of Advent is because this year has definitely been a year of waiting for me. I have no idea what the future holds for me, which is not easy. I don't know if anybody really does-- crazy things happen all the time that nobody plans for-- but sometimes we have a general idea. I don't really feel like I do. I know the direction I would like to go and am doing what I know to do in order for that to work, but I have no idea if or when it will work out like I hope.  

Nouwen's quote resonated with me as I read it. I think that I still need to do what I can in order to move forward, but I definitely think I could trust a little more that God does care, and is working things together for my good, and that I will come out the other side a little healthier and stronger. I wonder what people would do if, every time I feel stressed out about this, I just closed my eyes and said over and over: "I am a little seed. I am a little seed." Just imagining the ridiculousness of actually doing that pretty much erases my stress. 

Trying to relate my own waiting to the waiting of the world for the coming of Christ does put things into perspective. God is good. Our waiting here on earth will ultimately be fulfilled. I guess that is worth waiting for.

While we're talking about Henri Nouwen, I will close with a prayer he wrote for the Advent season:

Lord Jesus, master of both the light and the darkness,
send your Holy Spirit upon our preparations for Christmas.
We who have so much to do seek quiet spaces to hear your voice each day.
We who are anxious over many things look forward to your coming among us.
We who are blessed in so many ways long for the complete joy of your kingdom.
We whose hearts are heavy seek the joy of your presence.
We are your people, walking in darkness, yet seeking the light.
To you we say, "Come Lord Jesus!" Amen.