I mentioned last time that I was reading through some old journals. It's funny to read my thoughts on some things-- like team dynamics or even just travel-- and see how differently I feel now about those same things. Especially when I was just starting out and not so responsible for everything that happened to my team! Here is some of what I wrote on my way to New Zealand for the first time ever, dated March 20, 2002:
"So, here I am in the LAX airport. For the first time that I can remember, I feel like a little Portland girl alone in a scary place. Seriously, I think that LAX could be more intimidating than actual Sydney or Auckland. I keep having to remind myself that I am in my own country. I'm proud of myself, though, because I made it to the right terminal, which was hard, since this airport is huge, and, apparently, mapless. Of course, now I'm here, and my flight leaves in 3 hours. But I do what I can...
I am more scared than I thought I would be. I really don't know what I'm getting myself into... I know I'm not trusting God like I probably should. But then again, how do I know how exactly God wants me to trust him?
It makes me mad at myself, but I'm discovering that I am kind of uncomfortable around people who are not just like me. Stupid. And especially so, considering I am about to be surrounded by 6 Swiss, 4 Koreans, 2 Danes, a Samoan, Malaysian, Canadian, and Kiwi...Oh, a man with an Australian accent just sat near me! I love that!"
Oh, 2002 Mary. If only you knew that you would never get over your dislike for LAX. And that you would grow to love and thrive in cultures different to yours. Or that trusting God most likely looked a lot like getting on an airplane bound for a foreign country even though you were scared. Or that over 9 years later you would be wondering what trusting God looks like now...
Anyway, more in the Adventures from Mary's Past later.
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