iPost

So... here I am. America. It has been a bit over a month, now, since I sifted seven years worth of belongings into two suitcases and a carryon, and flew back to Portland. (By the way, I wholly endorse Air New Zealand as the best airline flying in and out of NZ. Best flight in a long time!)

It's been a weird time, being home. I've been surprised to find how difficult it is to switch my mind back into "America gear--" way harder than when I was just home to visit. I mean, it does stand to reason that it took me at least a year to feel really at home in NZ, so it could take a while to feel the same here... except that this IS home. I grew up here. I feel like I should know how life goes here. But for some reason, I cannot say "trash can" instead of "rubbish bin" for the life of me!

The truth is, technology freaks me out! There's a lot that I like-- I have never been so well entertained. But I had dinner with friends a couple of weeks ago, and the conversation at the end of the night was all about devices and if you need an iPod if you have an iPad and and iPhone as well, and eventually I just zoned out. It was slightly stunning to realize that this is the way things are now. And I don't know how to be a part of that conversation. And I don't know if I want to be. If that makes sense. And I am not judging my friends, who are wonderful people, and I am happy for them to have the things that they have. I just don't know that I want that for myself. I have so much more than I even knew to want...

Oh, the pondering that goes on! So... I still am not sure what is next, but am trying to be okay with that. The whole decompressing thing is definitely not going to work if I am putting pressure on myself to figure out my future the whole time!

So, in the introspective-but-not-too-serious side of things, I am looking through old journals, and I have to say it is quite enjoyable! 9 years ago today I was in Papua New Guinea with malaria! What a crazy life I have had so far. Next week I think I will post some excerpts from old journals. There are some good stories in there!