Goonies Never Say Die

I just got back (very) early this morning from Saipan [note-- actually two mornings ago; I didn't finish the post when I first started writing it], which is the most populated of the Commonwealth of the Northern Marianas Islands. It's still small. Smaller than Guam, which is very small-- I particularly noticed that as I flew away from Guam, and looked back and could see the entire island after not too long. But anyway... Saipan! It's beautiful, and not far away, it turns out (seriously, I should know that after living so close for the last 8-ish months). It is a lot like Guam in many ways, although there is no military presence anymore. However, the affects of WW II on Saipan were significant, and that is much more obvious than it has been to me on Guam. Saipan had been ruled by Japan for several years before the war, and so there were a lot of Japanese civilians on the island. When the US fought for and won Saipan (and the neighboring island, Tinian, where the Enola Gay launched from when it dropped the first atomic bomb), there was propaganda that the US troops would harm the Japanese civilians, and in spite of efforts to correct this misconception, many of these people, in fear, jumped off of cliffs rather than be captured. It was so strange to walk along these beautiful cliffs and realize the sadness of what happened there 60-something years ago.

And I'm not sure why I mentioned that except that it really struck me... it may or may not tie in with the rest of my post. :) I have been thinking about hope a lot lately. "Hope deferred makes the heart sick..." says the writer of Proverbs. And it's so true. I think the hardest thing for me during my time here has been figuring out how to deal with situations where things just don't happen like they should. There is a mindset that I've encountered here that makes it okay to not follow through on things you've said you will do. Which means that people say things; plans get made; things are even put in writing; hope rises... and then they just don't happen. I have really struggled with not giving up entirely on even the idea of a vision for Micronesia, because almost nothing that I expected has come to pass. Other things have happened, of course, and I've been totally blessed in many ways, but it's been a weird time, for sure.

I spent the last few days with YWAM Saipan, who have experienced the same kind of disappointments: cancelled schools, broken promises of people coming to help, uncertainty about housing and money. But the leaders of YWAM Saipan have this amazing hope. Being around them really reminded me that our hope is NOT in our circumstances, but in God. And they are planning for the next thing and laying down disappointment and hoping again for God to use them to help move the hearts of Micronesians toward Him. They know it might all fall through, but they still hope, because that is what they believe God has asked them to do. What amazing people.

Even before I went to Saipan, this idea of hope (and the struggle to maintain it) was on my mind. I think one reason I stayed here this whole time was that I just needed to follow through on what I said I would do, even though nobody would fault me for not doing so. Because I have committed to hope for this place. But the strength with which the staff on Saipan are keeping hope alive was pretty astounding. Hmmm... I guess I'm still thinking through all of this. But there it is: my rumination for today.

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. 2 Cor. 4:16-18

There's nothing like a little perspective...

Here I am, back from Yap! I had a great time, along with my friend Michelle, and plan to post more info later, but wanted to notify anyone who cares that I did, in fact, make it back to Guam in one piece. (Although the very next day my roommate and I went hiking and I slipped down a steep hill and am now covered in bruises and scratches. All in a day's work.)

I had the chance to meet some really cool people, and to sit and talk and listen to and pray with many of them. Michelle and I both spoke at church on Sunday, as well, which was a cool opportunity.

Some things you should know about Yap:

-The runway is really short, so when the airplane lands, it lands with a thump and brakes hard immediately, which causes many people to scream. Apparently, this was not an isolated incident just for our benefit; it happens often.

-If you like seafood, Yap is a good place to go. We ate fresh fish or crab almost every day.

-Yap is called "the island of stone money," but actually they use the U.S. dollar as currency. However, giant pieces of stone money are all over the place, and really fascinate me.

-There are also several stone paths on the island-- paths that have been laid with flat stones that go through the jungle. They are very cool, and also fascinate me.

-If you are walking from one village to the next in Yap, you should carry something (like a leaf) with you to indicate that you are not there to take anything. I'm not sure what happens if you don't follow this rule. But I'm sure it's not good.

That's all for now. I will leave you with the transcript of a conversation I had while exploring a stone path one day, guided by our friend, Angel, who showed Michelle and me around the island. I feel like it pretty much sums things up:

Me: "This stone path is amazing. Where does it go?"

Angel: "Oh, it goes all the way."

Me: "All the way... where?"

Angel: "To the end!"

And there it is. The most profound conversation I've had for a long time. Ponder and enjoy. :)