Posting Poetry Makes Me Nervous, It Turns Out.

Okay, I have a kind of confession to make: I am a closet poet. I am not saying that it is good poetry that I write. In fact, you might go so far as to call me a "poet." With quotes. But the thing is, sometimes I feel like it takes a lot of words to express what I want to say. And with a poem, I can use less words, and if nobody understands what I am trying to say, it's okay, because that expression is somehow now art.

I am not claiming to be a "logician."

And to be honest, my poems probably still have more words than necessary. But what I am really trying to say here is that today I drove one of our guest speakers home, and I spent something like 6 hours in a van, and my brain had plenty of time to run wild, and I wrote something as a result of my long drive. I am not really looking for literary critique so much as trying to give you a little window into my mind. Proceed at your own risk...


Unrest
Is apparent in a late-night drive
Along a well-traveled highway.
My co-pilot sleeps,
Her head nodding against the fogged window.
Music blares loudly;
It will not silence the questions that stretch before me,
Brighter in my mind than the expanse of reflectors
In the middle of the road...

I don’t want to be middle-of-the-road.

A sigh breathes my unspoken queries:
How many more times will I drive this route?
What else is out there for me?
I want to turn around
And go somewhere where expectations are low
And familiarity is earned
And being taken for granted is understood as a profound irony.

Responsibility propels me along my reflector-guided path;
Providence directs my gaze to the moonlight-drenched fields around me...

For satisfaction of what carelessly crafted desire
Would I miss this beauty that surpasses selfishness?
For what would I deny myself the quickly drawn breath
That I take in as I see shadowed trees cut into the star-riddled sky
And a moon that reminisces the brilliance of sunlight
With a wistful humility…

Pieces of plastic on the road lead me dutifully,
But the luminous Reflector of the night sky paints a bigger picture.

And even as my questions hang thick in the air,
I know peace.